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"It was an incredible experience to be surrounded
by that much love for three whole days."
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We had a great time
and many people told us afterwards that it was one of the most
fun weddings they'd ever been to. We've tried to recreate some
of the ambiance in this photo album.
Wedding events appear
in order. The main events happened from September 19 to 21, 2003,
but family stayed for a number of days afterwards.
Hikes, September 19
We gathered at the
Post Hotel for breakfast and then people headed out for a day
on the trail. Some went to Consolation Lake and some went to Sentinel
Pass.
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| Joel, John Hagen, Mark
Fletcher, Danielle Fortin and Erika Hagen-Veilleux at Moraine Lake. |
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Looking at bear scat on the way to Consolation Lake.
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| Group on the way to Sentinel Pass. |
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| At Sentinel Pass. |
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Family Dinner,
September 19
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| The Hagens and the Fletchers
enjoy a dinner at the Train Station Restaurant in Lake Louise. |
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| Joel thanks his parents who organised
and paid for the meal. |
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| Nadine's
Hair, September 20 |
| Early
on the 20th, Nadine got her hair done in Canmore. Jenny, Mary, Aunt
Danielle and brother Mark came along for the trip. Kat stopped in
to visit during the appointment. |
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| Hair sizzled and popped
as the curling iron did its work! |
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The final effect...
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| Friends
and Family Gather at Corral Creek, September 20 |
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The Ceremony, September 20
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If You Bring the Fiddle, If You'll be
My Bow
If you'll bring the fiddle, if you'll be my bow
You could play sweet and high, I'd sing low.
And the beauty we make will be what we know
If you'll bring the fiddle, if you'll be my bow.
Romance is sweet when uncertain and new.
We smile with our eyes and we hope it stays true
Through the beginnings, past failures to forgivings.
Chorus
Romance turns bitter, or so I've been told.
So let us find comfort that friendship holds
Find wonders that stay, day to day.
Chorus
In our lifetimes when the learning comes slow
And fears challenge the love we know
Friends will remind us of hope and of kindness.
Chorus
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Mike Kerr, our first
boss at Parks Canada married us. He is now a public speaker and
humour in the workplace consultant. As you might guess, he kept
everyone laughing...
Mike Kerr
Welcome friends
and family of Joel Alexander Hagen and Nadine Pamela Fletcher.
Welcome everyone who made the journey from far and near, especially,
you know, Joel and Nadine - thanks for showing up.
And please can we
thank Mandi and Kim for the wonderful music.
My name is Michael
Kerr. I have the honour and privilege of officiating today's ceremony.
I think we're going to make wedding history today folks, because
this is probably the only wedding where the ceremony will be shorter
than the invitation.
The reason Joel
and Nadine asked me to referee this affair is because, well not
only because of their impeccable sense of fashion, not only because
I do weddings for cheap, they told me they feel I am responsible
for them ending up together because I hired them at the same time
and forced them to cohabitate together . . . the same summer Stephen
Legault started, so it could have easily been Steph and Joel up
here, well maybe not in Alberta . . . .
The only significant
fact I could find about this date in history was this: Playboy
released their magazine edition which featured an interview with
President Jimmy Carter, who admitted that he sometimes lusted
after women in his heart.
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Joel
Welcome to everyone
and many thanks for coming from near and far to share this special
day with us. We chose this spot to get married for several reasons.
One is because of the beautiful view of Mount Temple. It's underneath
this mountain that we met, courted and now live. We also wanted
to have water nearby. And we wanted a space big enough and accessible
enough for all of you to join us.
Nadine
We chose this time
of year for many reasons:
1. We first got together in the fall and it has always been our
anniversary time (sign: eleven years and counting).
2. We both spent a lot of time in school and at university, so
fall is associated with beginnings in our minds (mortar hat).
3. It's near the equinox - a good time of year to think about
balance (yoga pose: the eagle).
4. It's rutting season for the elk (elk bugle).
5. It comes with fabulous fall colours (tie and silk shawl).
6. And it fits the time of our romance - we're not spring chickens
anymore (rubber chicken).
We'd now like to introduce our families and Joel's best man,
Mark Finlay...
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Joel
Our first reading
is a poem by May Sarton. It is about being fully present in this
moment, a very important thing to be, especially on your wedding
day. We have taken some liberty with the personal pronoun in this
poem, changing it from "I" to "we." The poem
is called "Now I Become Myself."
Now we become ourselves.
It's taken
Time, many years and places.
We have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces.
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"Hurry, you will be dead before – "
(Before what? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel our own weight and density!...
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour we live
All of ourselves and do not move
We, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the Sun!
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Nadine
This reading is
from the letters of German poet Rainer Maria Rilke. He was a very
thoughtful man whose views on marriage we appreciate very much.
"Marriage is
a new task and a new seriousness, – a new demand on the strength
and generosity of each partner, and a great new danger for both.
The point of marriage
is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries;
on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner
appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus
they show each other the greatest possible trust. A merging of
two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it
is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both
parties of their fullest freedom and development.
But once the realization
is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances
exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if
they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them
the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before
an immense sky.
.... So those who
love must try to act as if they had a great work to accomplish:
they must be much alone and go into themselves and gather and
concentrate themselves; they must work; they must become something.
For the more we are, the richer everything we experience is. And
those who want to have a deep love in their lives must collect
and save for it, and gather honey."
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Joel
This section of
the Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran, picks up on some of the ideas of
Rilke, in a more poetic way.
Love one another,
but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you
be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with
the same music.
Give your hearts,
but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
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Nadine's Vows
Joel, my soon to be husband.
I am so glad that last September, you asked me to marry you. It
has forced me to reflect deeply on our relationship and of its
potential to bring great happiness to me, to you and to the many
people that surround us.
I have learned that understanding is the foundation of love.
I vow to learn as much as I can about the things that cause you
pain and about how to water the seeds of happiness within you.
I am aware that the willingness to love is not enough. It is not
a question of willingness or hope, but of practice, of deeds.
We are a community of two, coming together to practice love.
I vow to practice the art of love and happiness. The practice
begins with loving and taking care of myself and blossoms into
loving and taking care of you. I vow to be fully present to both
your pain and your joy. I vow to be a cause of your happiness.
Happiness is not an individual matter. Our happiness is the happiness
of many people. Through my love for you, I vow to grow in my love
for humanity and for all beings. If I succeed in loving you, I
will be able to bring that larger love to fruition.
Let us love each other, take care of each other and make each
other happy.
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Joel's Vows
Nadine,
I wrote my vows for you beside the Bow River, not only because
it has been our companion these 11 years, but because I needed
the river to help me say what I am about to say to you now.
To me our love has been like the river, and my hope is that it
always will be so. It has been constant, but also ever changing.
It sometimes rises and bursts its banks, and sometimes lies low
and frozen. It sometimes flows clear, sometimes mysterious silty
blue, and sometimes angry brown.
The river is pulsing, vibrant and strong, but it is also made
of small things – drops of water, clear pools, riffles and
rapids. Along the banks of the Bow, and sometimes in the current
itself, we have shared the small moments that make up the river
of our love – walks and kisses and conversation.
Like the river, you are a true companion, always nearby and always
familiar. There is much I love about the familiar – watching
you, listening to you, touching you, being with you – all
are joys. No one would deny that the river is beautiful, and you
too are beautiful... and wise, and deep, and intelligent, and
sensual.
An old proverb says that "no man can step into a river twice,
for he is not the same man, and it is not the same river."
In our 11 years together, I believe I have come to know you well,
but in the same way the river will change, and yet remain a thing
I love, I pledge to love the changes in you. I look forward to
stepping into the river, I look forward to getting swept into
the current of a grand amour, a grand adventure, and I look forward
to the places it will take us. But mostly, I look forward to doing
all of these things with you.
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Mike Kerr
I brought along
a reading of my own... a selection from Richard Scary's Big Picture
Book: "In summer, we go to the beach. It is fun."
Can you tell Joel
and Nadine are park interpreters? Stephen and I will give some
feedback after the ceremony. I actually have it on good word from
Nadine that even their wedding night later on this evening is
going to feature some props ...
All good interpretive
programs have an element of audience participation.
Nadine and Joel
wanted today to be very much a community celebration and for friends
and family to be involved in their ceremony and with their commitment
to one another. So with that in mind they have asked me to invite
all of you to now make a vow today alongside them, in which you
promise to support them in their marriage.
Joel and Nadine
passionately believe that much the same way that no person is
an island, no couple is an island either. Perhaps a peninsula,
maybe even a cape, but not an island, so it would mean a lot to
them to hear you say "I do" to the following vow they
have written:
Do you gathered
here today agree to support Joel and Nadine in their marriage
to one another and celebrate their marriage with them, as Humphrey
Bogart said, "Not just today, not just tomorrow, but the
next day and for the rest of their lives?"
Guests: "I do."
Now that Joel and
Nadine have pledged their commitment to one another, and now that
together we, as friends and family, have promised to support their
commitment...
By the powers vested
to me by King Ralph in the province of Alberta on this, the 20th
day of September 2003, I declare them husband and wife.
Nadine, you may
kiss the groom.
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John Hagen played
the trumpet as we kissed! Champagne was poured while Kim and Mandi
played a lively instrumental piece, then we moved on to the toasts.
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Anita Hagen's Toast
Life is full of surprises. Today's event is one of them, even
thought the real surprise came a year ago when Joel and
Nadine told us they were engaged via the modern way - by e-mail.
We are pleased! Not because you are now married. As far as we're
concerned you have been "married" for these ten
years. As the years have passed, we've marked your September anniversaries
as you have.
We are pleased because of what today means to you. A year ago
you told us about your desire to state commitment to each other
and "to the world" and we've watched that commitment
grow through ten years of getting to know yourselves as well as
each other.
Given that you live and work together in the small domain of
your home - enhanced by this great mountainous outdoors - this
marriage is all the more miraculous and meaningful.
We love you dearly, greatly enjoy our times together, and don't
worry about you too much!
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John Hagen's Toast
Anita has spolen of our pleasure in your engagement. I was also
humbled and proud that you asked us to toast you in your marriage
vows.
But you made it easy and rewarding with your ceremony today,
with your profound and deeply moving words on your relationship
and commitment to each other.
Let us all raise our glasses now to toast Joel and Nadine - to
celebrate that co-mingling of mind, body and spirit in love and
commitment before this community of family and friends.
To Joel and Nadine. Sköl!
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Mark Fletcher's Toast
Dear friends and family!
We are now celebrating today Nadine and Joel's relationship.
On behalf of our family, I wish to express just how proud we are
both of Nadine and Joel.
These two people share an incredible life together. Whenever
I tell anyone what they do and where they do it, the common reaction
I get is that they are an example of someone who has gotten it
right.
My sister once told me that, in a relationship, you have to invest
in your partner's happiness. That has been very helpful advice
in my own life.
Perhaps it is for all of us here today to try to invest in their
happiness by being supportive, steadfast and having a great deal
of fun tonight.
Joel, Nadine, I want to say it again: we are all proud of you,
your happiness and your success. You are both fantastic and exceptional
people who care and love. Thank you for letting us be a part of
your relationship today and in the future.
To Joel and Nadine!
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Formal Photos, September 20
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All members of both the Hagen and Fletcher clans.
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Our official wedding photo.
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Dinner and Dance at the Banff
Senior Centre, September 20
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Everyone provided
food for a fabulous potluck feast!
Dinner was interrupted
for more words and entertainment: Kim and Mandi performed the
wedding song again, the young people presented a dance number,
Erika played the violin, David Hagen (Joel's brother) said a some
lovely words, Nadine put in a plug for same-sex marriage (a timely
topic in September) and Nadine & Joel sang a song to thank
people for coming.
The dance was a
lot of fun for those who wanted to physically express their joy!
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People in the light, left to right: Paul, Terry, Jenny, Ellen
& Josee.
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Kathryn and Donna
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Dancing to Kung Fu Fighting - a blast from the past!
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Walk at Emerald Lake, September
21
The next day, a
number of people took a walk around beautiful Emerald Lake in
Yoho National Park. It was a mysterious, misty morning that quickly
turned to sun. We spent some time fish watching with Mike Engelsjord,
who is a fisheries biologist and had a lot of fun with "bunny
teeth."
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Over the Next Week
It was a real treat
to have much of our family stay for the next week. At the end
of it all, it was hard to say goodbye to one of the most enjoyable
times in our lives.
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The Hagens and the Fletchers in the Banff Hotsprings pool
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Nadine, Joel and Erika play music
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David, Nadine, Erika and Joel at Morant's Curve
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